From the "Toy Story" family - Jessie, Zurg and Buzz. (Peanut picked our costumes, centered around her 3-month obsession with dressing as Emperor Zurg, the villain from "Toy Story.")
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Happy Halloween!
From the "Toy Story" family - Jessie, Zurg and Buzz. (Peanut picked our costumes, centered around her 3-month obsession with dressing as Emperor Zurg, the villain from "Toy Story.")
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Happy 4th of July
Move over Lea Michelle - step aside Kristen Chenoweth. We've got a new Broadway singer. In honor of Independence Day, Peanut belts her favorite song, "Grand Old Flag."
"You're a Grand Old Flag!" from Amelia Nielson-Stowell on Vimeo.
Friday, May 06, 2011
A perfect Mother's Day
...I am pretty sure GJ has no idea it's Mother's Day this weekend. Most likely, he'll remember sometime Saturday and celebrations will be lack luster. So, for you GJ, when you open up my blog during your monthly "What has my wife written about on the internet that most likely needed to be censored" checks, this is my ideal Mother's Day.
(And because a perfect Mother's Day does not involve three hours at church where I have to teach a lesson - sorry God! - this day is actually Saturday instead of Sunday. So...you've got some work to do in the next 24 hours GJ.)
Sometime after 9 a.m.ish: Wake up. On my own accord. I have not been awaken in the night by snoring or crying or an alarm or birds or neighbor kids playing in our driveway.
9:10 a.m.: Actually get out of bed. My bathroom has been cleaned in the night, and it feels good to look in a mirror that isn't crusted with toothbrush spittle, walk on a floor with no hair and bathe in a shower without hints of mold.
9:30 a.m.: Breakfast is served in the backyard by someone that is not me. Smoothies, quiche, muffins. Peanut has been changed, dressed and somehow completes this meal without getting food on her hair, clothes, face or random-hidden-skin-crevices-that-I-won't-find-out-about-until-she-smears-it-on-the-couch. She has also avoided getting food in my hair and clothes. GJ does not whine about eating "chick food." There is adult conversation. Peanut does not do one of her monumental sneezes where boogers come flying out her nose in two green streamers hanging past her chin.
10:15 a.m.: Peanut will now entertain me. She sings and dances to her favorite Sesame Street songs and, for the grand finale, "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga (feel free to judge - she knows the chorus because I sing this song around the house).
10:43 a.m.: I'm going to read a book outside at this point. Someone that is not me has Peanut.
11:57 a.m.: That sun feels good, I'm going to take a nap now.
12:22 p.m.: Wake up refreshed from my brief slumber. The sun has evened out my strange calf tan from wearing capri tights while running. I now feel comfortable heading into spring wearing shorts and skirts.
12:35 p.m.: Pick up my sister Kristin from her private jet ride to Utah. We head to a day spa - up first, pedicure and manicure. Everyone performing these services does not speak English, so I feel no obligation to make conversation with anyone other than my sister.
1:47 p.m.: Lunch is served. Since Kristin and I are the only two women on earth who have yet to watch the Royal Wedding, we finally see it. We ohhh and ahhh and mock at all the appropriate points. To fit with the theme, tea is served, with tea sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres and dessert.
3:04 p.m.: Facial.
3:35 p.m.: Massage.
5:08 p.m.: Haircut. After 8 months of cutting my own bangs, they finally look normal again.
6:13 p.m.: I'm back home. "...what was that GJ? Every random item on the 'honey do' list has been finished? The downstairs bathroom has been remodeled to my taste, the water heater fixed on the bathtub, the grass and vinca ripped off the front lawn, the disgusting compost dump turned into an appropriately sized and contained heap? You shouldn't have. Well you should have - it's Mother's Day."
6:14 p.m.: "Wait, did I hear you correctly GJ? You also potty trained Peanut?!"
6:15 p.m.: Play with Peanut. She does not want to play anything mind-numbingly repetitive, like changing her doll's outfit two dozen times in the next 10 minutes.
6:45 p.m.: My brother Trent comes over and settles the Great Christmas Movie Pick Debate of 2010 - "True Grit" was, in fact, in theaters, and his pick of "Unstoppable" was stupid. He admits defeat by crying.
6:48 p.m.: I'm done watching Trent cry.
6:49 p.m.: My dad comes over and bestows me with the title of Dad's Favorite Child. Trent cries.
6:52 p.m.: I'm done watching Trent cry.
6:53 p.m.: We have some witty banter.
7:09 p.m.: We create a new inappropriate word and put it on urbandictionary.com.
7:16 p.m.: Check the news. James Franco uses says word in an interview.
7:20 p.m.: Check the rest of the news. Half of the Utah legislature has resigned, citing insanity, a cure has been discovered for menstruation, Rhianna has retired from the music industry and "Glee" has acquired an entire new set of writers. There's a joint media decision that everyone is "over" Osama bin Laden.
7:31 p.m.: GJ and I dress up and go out to dinner. We eat at a romantic lodge in the canyons that provides a meal mixed with all my favorite food - Lugano's pear prosciutto appetizer, Red Iguana's cochinita pibil, Cafe Trio's crème brûlée. (Amazingly, no one gets sick by this Italian-Mexican-French combination.)
9:15 p.m.: Moonlight ski lift ride. We cuddle in blankets and drink hot chocolate.
11:07 p.m.: Back home. Discover season opener of fourth season of "Jersey Shore" online - watch it.
11:59 p.m.: Peanut allows me to cuddle with her as I fall asleep. Her bed is small and her dozens of stuffed animals are lumpy, but her body is warm and her hair has that familiar scent only I could love - a mixture of grass, pancake syrup, sweat and the baby shampoo I've used on her since birth.
12:01 a.m.: Peanut wakes up shouting for dada. Mother's Day is officially over.
(And because a perfect Mother's Day does not involve three hours at church where I have to teach a lesson - sorry God! - this day is actually Saturday instead of Sunday. So...you've got some work to do in the next 24 hours GJ.)
Sometime after 9 a.m.ish: Wake up. On my own accord. I have not been awaken in the night by snoring or crying or an alarm or birds or neighbor kids playing in our driveway.
9:10 a.m.: Actually get out of bed. My bathroom has been cleaned in the night, and it feels good to look in a mirror that isn't crusted with toothbrush spittle, walk on a floor with no hair and bathe in a shower without hints of mold.
9:30 a.m.: Breakfast is served in the backyard by someone that is not me. Smoothies, quiche, muffins. Peanut has been changed, dressed and somehow completes this meal without getting food on her hair, clothes, face or random-hidden-skin-crevices-that-I-won't-find-out-about-until-she-smears-it-on-the-couch. She has also avoided getting food in my hair and clothes. GJ does not whine about eating "chick food." There is adult conversation. Peanut does not do one of her monumental sneezes where boogers come flying out her nose in two green streamers hanging past her chin.
10:15 a.m.: Peanut will now entertain me. She sings and dances to her favorite Sesame Street songs and, for the grand finale, "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga (feel free to judge - she knows the chorus because I sing this song around the house).
10:43 a.m.: I'm going to read a book outside at this point. Someone that is not me has Peanut.
11:57 a.m.: That sun feels good, I'm going to take a nap now.
12:22 p.m.: Wake up refreshed from my brief slumber. The sun has evened out my strange calf tan from wearing capri tights while running. I now feel comfortable heading into spring wearing shorts and skirts.
12:35 p.m.: Pick up my sister Kristin from her private jet ride to Utah. We head to a day spa - up first, pedicure and manicure. Everyone performing these services does not speak English, so I feel no obligation to make conversation with anyone other than my sister.
1:47 p.m.: Lunch is served. Since Kristin and I are the only two women on earth who have yet to watch the Royal Wedding, we finally see it. We ohhh and ahhh and mock at all the appropriate points. To fit with the theme, tea is served, with tea sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres and dessert.
3:04 p.m.: Facial.
3:35 p.m.: Massage.
5:08 p.m.: Haircut. After 8 months of cutting my own bangs, they finally look normal again.
6:13 p.m.: I'm back home. "...what was that GJ? Every random item on the 'honey do' list has been finished? The downstairs bathroom has been remodeled to my taste, the water heater fixed on the bathtub, the grass and vinca ripped off the front lawn, the disgusting compost dump turned into an appropriately sized and contained heap? You shouldn't have. Well you should have - it's Mother's Day."
6:14 p.m.: "Wait, did I hear you correctly GJ? You also potty trained Peanut?!"
6:15 p.m.: Play with Peanut. She does not want to play anything mind-numbingly repetitive, like changing her doll's outfit two dozen times in the next 10 minutes.
6:45 p.m.: My brother Trent comes over and settles the Great Christmas Movie Pick Debate of 2010 - "True Grit" was, in fact, in theaters, and his pick of "Unstoppable" was stupid. He admits defeat by crying.
6:48 p.m.: I'm done watching Trent cry.
6:49 p.m.: My dad comes over and bestows me with the title of Dad's Favorite Child. Trent cries.
6:52 p.m.: I'm done watching Trent cry.
6:53 p.m.: We have some witty banter.
7:09 p.m.: We create a new inappropriate word and put it on urbandictionary.com.
7:16 p.m.: Check the news. James Franco uses says word in an interview.
7:20 p.m.: Check the rest of the news. Half of the Utah legislature has resigned, citing insanity, a cure has been discovered for menstruation, Rhianna has retired from the music industry and "Glee" has acquired an entire new set of writers. There's a joint media decision that everyone is "over" Osama bin Laden.
7:31 p.m.: GJ and I dress up and go out to dinner. We eat at a romantic lodge in the canyons that provides a meal mixed with all my favorite food - Lugano's pear prosciutto appetizer, Red Iguana's cochinita pibil, Cafe Trio's crème brûlée. (Amazingly, no one gets sick by this Italian-Mexican-French combination.)
9:15 p.m.: Moonlight ski lift ride. We cuddle in blankets and drink hot chocolate.
11:07 p.m.: Back home. Discover season opener of fourth season of "Jersey Shore" online - watch it.
11:59 p.m.: Peanut allows me to cuddle with her as I fall asleep. Her bed is small and her dozens of stuffed animals are lumpy, but her body is warm and her hair has that familiar scent only I could love - a mixture of grass, pancake syrup, sweat and the baby shampoo I've used on her since birth.
12:01 a.m.: Peanut wakes up shouting for dada. Mother's Day is officially over.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Mediocore Magic
We went to California last week. We were hoping to escape the Utah snow...and it rained every day we were down. Oh well. At least we got to spend time in the green foothills of our hometown and relax.
I decided this would be Peanut's first trip to Disneyland. GJ and I grew up 20 minutes away from Disneyland and went often as kids (then as teens and adults). We hadn't been since 2007. Admittedly, I had high hopes for this visit. And why wouldn't I? It was our 2.5 year old's first time there.
But it turned out to be...a trip to an incredibly crowded amusement park. Disneyland's rather inefficient character-meeting system and the insane crowds (Spring Break for half the U.S. and NCAA tournament Anaheim games for the other half) did not make the experience that great. Yes, it was totally worth it to see Peanut light-up when she met Woody and Jessie and take her first ride on Small World. But us Disneyland veterans had never seen crowds that large there before. We skipped the big thrill rides, missed favorites like the submarine, Peter Pan and Pirates, didn't make it to Toon Town and still waited an hour for rides like the Casey Jr. Train (That tiny train behind Dumbo! The train that half the people who come to Disneyland don't even know exists!). And finding less popular characters (...like anyone from "Toy Story") involved harassing guest services and waiting in a guesstimate time period that was a crap shoot instead of a schedule. We never saw Buzz Lightyear because of this. Nothing pisses off a mom more than hearing her child dejectedly ask "Are we going to see Buzz?" and you're forced to answer "No" because you've exhausted every method to find the spaceman and the best answer you can get from Disneyland "castmembers" as to where he'll be is "Oh, he just walks around different spots in Tomorrowland at different times." Thank you, that sounds like a great use of the approximately $3,000 it cost to bring my family to the park.
Ugh. We left agreeing not to go back for another 5 years.
Our trip wasn't all whining! Peanut did have some magical Disneyland-esque moments.
You forget how enchanting and real everything is to a kid.
Carousel or "Round-a-Round" (Peanut: "Ride like the wind Bullseye!"):
Jungle Cruise...apparently all the people behind Peanut also thought the Jungle Cruise was real since they're all taking pictures of the animatronic rhinos:
Before we left for California, I realized Peanut had never seen a true Disney classic (no princesses, no "Peter Pan"), just Pixar movies. So my sister-in-law let us borrow "Dumbo." Peanut watched it during the drive to California and didn't even make it through the first 10 minutes. During the part where the other elephants are making fun of Dumbo's big ears, Peanut pushed the DVD player away and said "I don't like this movie, the baby elephant is sad!" I convinced her to keep watching...but I forgot how violent "Dumbo" gets. The circus elephants later get chained up and whipped...Peanut freaked out at that part. She slammed the DVD shut crying and declared "I don't like this movie!"
She did enjoy Dumbo the ride! Disney just keeps weird Depression-era animal cruelty in their movies.
(GJ's mom came with us and took Peanut on Dumbo.)
Not pictured: Peanut clinging to me in horror during Pinocchio. Back in Utah, she continues to remind me "Mama, I don't like Pokeo."
Would the dark Small World also scare Peanut? Our sensitive girl instead patted GJ's leg and assured him "Don't be scared dada, it's just dolls."
Meeting Jessie and Woody was awesome.
Peanut was thrilled with this experience. She kept telling us "Jessie and Woody hold my hand!" and "I played with Jessie and Woody!" (...she didn't but, you know, we all have dreams) and was very concerned about Bullseye's whereabouts.
Since she wanted to "Do that again," we took her to the Winnie the Pooh area to meet those characters. She's never seen Winnie the Pooh (or Winnie the Pee Pee), so was a bit more timid about interacting with them. Because she's adorable, Winnie the Pooh gave her a pine cone and Tigger walked around with her. (...or the characters were pleased to have a welcome break from the amount of adults who stand in lines to take pictures with characters. Yes, adults. No children. I will never understand this.)
(ALSO WEIRD: the amount of adult woman who wear Minnie Mouse ears coordinated with an outfit. Skanky outfits. And I'm not referring to the Disney princesses - BA-DA-CHING! We spotted a woman wearing knee-high boots, a mini skirt...and a matching Minnie Mouse ear tiara.)
Peanut's favorite ride was the Buzz Lightyear ride. This is a new-ish ride where you sit in a car and shoot Emperor Zurg and aliens with a laser gun. It's like an arcade, and you actually score points for what you hit. We went on it twice - the second time Peanut shot the laser on her own. She assured me "Mama, I've got Zurg" and, as you'll notice from our scores, actually hit a few things. You'll also notice I got really serious about this game and beat GJ the second time around. HAHAHA! (Our marriage is a huge competition.)
By the time we got to the Tomorrowland rockets (another hour wait AHHHHH) Peanut declared "I want to go home." Could you blame her?
Thanks for the mediocre magic Disneyland. Until next decade!
I decided this would be Peanut's first trip to Disneyland. GJ and I grew up 20 minutes away from Disneyland and went often as kids (then as teens and adults). We hadn't been since 2007. Admittedly, I had high hopes for this visit. And why wouldn't I? It was our 2.5 year old's first time there.
But it turned out to be...a trip to an incredibly crowded amusement park. Disneyland's rather inefficient character-meeting system and the insane crowds (Spring Break for half the U.S. and NCAA tournament Anaheim games for the other half) did not make the experience that great. Yes, it was totally worth it to see Peanut light-up when she met Woody and Jessie and take her first ride on Small World. But us Disneyland veterans had never seen crowds that large there before. We skipped the big thrill rides, missed favorites like the submarine, Peter Pan and Pirates, didn't make it to Toon Town and still waited an hour for rides like the Casey Jr. Train (That tiny train behind Dumbo! The train that half the people who come to Disneyland don't even know exists!). And finding less popular characters (...like anyone from "Toy Story") involved harassing guest services and waiting in a guesstimate time period that was a crap shoot instead of a schedule. We never saw Buzz Lightyear because of this. Nothing pisses off a mom more than hearing her child dejectedly ask "Are we going to see Buzz?" and you're forced to answer "No" because you've exhausted every method to find the spaceman and the best answer you can get from Disneyland "castmembers" as to where he'll be is "Oh, he just walks around different spots in Tomorrowland at different times." Thank you, that sounds like a great use of the approximately $3,000 it cost to bring my family to the park.
Ugh. We left agreeing not to go back for another 5 years.
Our trip wasn't all whining! Peanut did have some magical Disneyland-esque moments.
You forget how enchanting and real everything is to a kid.
Carousel or "Round-a-Round" (Peanut: "Ride like the wind Bullseye!"):
Jungle Cruise...apparently all the people behind Peanut also thought the Jungle Cruise was real since they're all taking pictures of the animatronic rhinos:
Before we left for California, I realized Peanut had never seen a true Disney classic (no princesses, no "Peter Pan"), just Pixar movies. So my sister-in-law let us borrow "Dumbo." Peanut watched it during the drive to California and didn't even make it through the first 10 minutes. During the part where the other elephants are making fun of Dumbo's big ears, Peanut pushed the DVD player away and said "I don't like this movie, the baby elephant is sad!" I convinced her to keep watching...but I forgot how violent "Dumbo" gets. The circus elephants later get chained up and whipped...Peanut freaked out at that part. She slammed the DVD shut crying and declared "I don't like this movie!"
She did enjoy Dumbo the ride! Disney just keeps weird Depression-era animal cruelty in their movies.
(GJ's mom came with us and took Peanut on Dumbo.)
Not pictured: Peanut clinging to me in horror during Pinocchio. Back in Utah, she continues to remind me "Mama, I don't like Pokeo."
Would the dark Small World also scare Peanut? Our sensitive girl instead patted GJ's leg and assured him "Don't be scared dada, it's just dolls."
Meeting Jessie and Woody was awesome.
Peanut was thrilled with this experience. She kept telling us "Jessie and Woody hold my hand!" and "I played with Jessie and Woody!" (...she didn't but, you know, we all have dreams) and was very concerned about Bullseye's whereabouts.
Since she wanted to "Do that again," we took her to the Winnie the Pooh area to meet those characters. She's never seen Winnie the Pooh (or Winnie the Pee Pee), so was a bit more timid about interacting with them. Because she's adorable, Winnie the Pooh gave her a pine cone and Tigger walked around with her. (...or the characters were pleased to have a welcome break from the amount of adults who stand in lines to take pictures with characters. Yes, adults. No children. I will never understand this.)
(ALSO WEIRD: the amount of adult woman who wear Minnie Mouse ears coordinated with an outfit. Skanky outfits. And I'm not referring to the Disney princesses - BA-DA-CHING! We spotted a woman wearing knee-high boots, a mini skirt...and a matching Minnie Mouse ear tiara.)
Peanut's favorite ride was the Buzz Lightyear ride. This is a new-ish ride where you sit in a car and shoot Emperor Zurg and aliens with a laser gun. It's like an arcade, and you actually score points for what you hit. We went on it twice - the second time Peanut shot the laser on her own. She assured me "Mama, I've got Zurg" and, as you'll notice from our scores, actually hit a few things. You'll also notice I got really serious about this game and beat GJ the second time around. HAHAHA! (Our marriage is a huge competition.)
By the time we got to the Tomorrowland rockets (another hour wait AHHHHH) Peanut declared "I want to go home." Could you blame her?
Thanks for the mediocre magic Disneyland. Until next decade!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Christmas recap (I've decided this is appropriate to post in March)
I thought about making my New Year's resolution "Blog about things in a more timely manner," but how fun, reading about a cheery Christmas celebration in the middle of the March doldrums! Right? Right? Hello?
No one told me Christmas is 100 times cooler when you have a toddler!
"Santa" went all Toy Story 3 on Christmas and got Peanut an eBay Little People Sesame Street house, the same kind I played with when I was little. And eBay Muppet Babies toys in her stocking. True to the movie, I'm sure the toys threw a party that night, toasting Peanut and their new home.
The toys that haven't been played with since the '80s were the clear Christmas favorites. She quickly learned all the Muppet Babies names and still asks hourly to play with the "Mess-a-me Street house."
I was surprised and impressed with Peanut. She gave all her toys ample attention and never had any sort of toy-overload meltdown. She was so happy and sweet with her toys.
...including the freaking Pillow Pet. It now smells like pee and old milk - good thing it's washable!
Before Christmas, I thought about being one of those hippie parents that never keeps up the Santa story. I mean why bother? Try explaining Santa to the blank stare of a 2-year-old who keeps referring to the holiday as "Merry Happy Birthday Christmas Jesus," stewing inside because all your hours hunting down classic toys on eBay will just be credited to a made-up person, and let me know how it goes.
But then Christmas Eve, when Peanut wouldn't go to sleep because "I want to go home and sleep in my crib" (we slept at my parents house with my siblings), GJ explained that Santa thinks she's sleeping at grandpa and grandma's house and is bringing all her presents there, so she needs to go to sleep.
IT WORKED.
She said "OK" and went to bed! Even when she woke up in the middle of the night for more milk, she asked "Santa come?" I told her "Not yet, you need to go to sleep for him to come and bring you toys" and she went right to sleep!
So Santa, yes I will continue your myth for the years of manipulation and easy bedtimes this will provide!
(And blah blah magic of Christmas I guess that's nice too.)
Other Christmas highlights:
- Beginning of December, when I pulled out my nativity sets, I gave Peanut strict instructions that she was not to touch them. So she didn't...but took some liberties with the manger scene.
When I asked her to tell me what all her animals were doing, she reported that Gumby is a wiseman, the frog water squirting bath toy is "Blowing on Jesus because he's hot," Elmo is singing to Jesus, the dinosaur is another cow and Cookie Monster is petting the sheep.
- The obligatory Christmas tree photo. We went with a lot this year instead of the cut-your-own farm. The tree died a lot quicker, but we didn't have the assortment of weird bugs crawling on our ceilings through the holidays.
- And the obligatory Santa visit. Instead of screaming in horror like last year, she just pretended Santa wasn't there.
If anyone asked her about seeing Santa, she'd also ignore their question.
- My sister, bro-in-law and 4-month old nephew came to town for the holidays.
We were all curious to see how Peanut would react to baby D. She gave him attention...if none of us looked at her. The moment someone looked at her or commented "Ahhh, that's such a nice hug Peanut!" she ignored baby D, claiming "He's scary." She had noted that he "Has an apple" (see: male infant genitalia) and, best 2-year-old-ism, told me: "My apple fell off my bum already." I think that about sums up all "Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina" talk.
...of course the best picture we got of the two of them smiling came from my mom's camera, the crappy, low resolution one dubbed "Fuzzy Memories."
We did see the jealousy bug appear when we put Baby D in my sister's old baby doll bed. All the attention, snapping camera and gushes of "You're so cute D!" were too much - Peanut had to get in next.
- Peanut obsessed with sheep at a live nativity. This is the second time she's been able to pet/hug/maul a real sheep and I'm seriously looking into buying our own mini flock. She loves sheep! Moments before the picture below was taken, she said "It's OK baby sheep, I'll help you find your dada." (A bigger ewe had just walked away.) Is that not the cutest thing?
- Peanut's "hake-up" - a $1 make-up brush set I put in her stocking.
- Sledding.
"I love sledding!" - Peanut
"Let's let Peanut go by herself, I bet this won't be traumatizing for her at all!" - Trent
"I hate sledding!" - Peanut
All is forgiven.
- Family time.
(Our fourth sibling - the little brother Ryan - is on a church mission. So I had to provoke the fact that he's gone missing his beloved traditions by dubbing the older siblings "The 3 Originals.")
- ...speaking of, we got to talk to Ryan on the phone.
I remember my mom telling me when I was little that, when I grew up, my best friends would be my siblings. I didn't believe her.
She was right.
No one told me Christmas is 100 times cooler when you have a toddler!
"Santa" went all Toy Story 3 on Christmas and got Peanut an eBay Little People Sesame Street house, the same kind I played with when I was little. And eBay Muppet Babies toys in her stocking. True to the movie, I'm sure the toys threw a party that night, toasting Peanut and their new home.
The toys that haven't been played with since the '80s were the clear Christmas favorites. She quickly learned all the Muppet Babies names and still asks hourly to play with the "Mess-a-me Street house."
I was surprised and impressed with Peanut. She gave all her toys ample attention and never had any sort of toy-overload meltdown. She was so happy and sweet with her toys.
...including the freaking Pillow Pet. It now smells like pee and old milk - good thing it's washable!
Before Christmas, I thought about being one of those hippie parents that never keeps up the Santa story. I mean why bother? Try explaining Santa to the blank stare of a 2-year-old who keeps referring to the holiday as "Merry Happy Birthday Christmas Jesus," stewing inside because all your hours hunting down classic toys on eBay will just be credited to a made-up person, and let me know how it goes.
But then Christmas Eve, when Peanut wouldn't go to sleep because "I want to go home and sleep in my crib" (we slept at my parents house with my siblings), GJ explained that Santa thinks she's sleeping at grandpa and grandma's house and is bringing all her presents there, so she needs to go to sleep.
IT WORKED.
She said "OK" and went to bed! Even when she woke up in the middle of the night for more milk, she asked "Santa come?" I told her "Not yet, you need to go to sleep for him to come and bring you toys" and she went right to sleep!
So Santa, yes I will continue your myth for the years of manipulation and easy bedtimes this will provide!
(And blah blah magic of Christmas I guess that's nice too.)
Other Christmas highlights:
- Beginning of December, when I pulled out my nativity sets, I gave Peanut strict instructions that she was not to touch them. So she didn't...but took some liberties with the manger scene.
When I asked her to tell me what all her animals were doing, she reported that Gumby is a wiseman, the frog water squirting bath toy is "Blowing on Jesus because he's hot," Elmo is singing to Jesus, the dinosaur is another cow and Cookie Monster is petting the sheep.
- The obligatory Christmas tree photo. We went with a lot this year instead of the cut-your-own farm. The tree died a lot quicker, but we didn't have the assortment of weird bugs crawling on our ceilings through the holidays.
- And the obligatory Santa visit. Instead of screaming in horror like last year, she just pretended Santa wasn't there.
If anyone asked her about seeing Santa, she'd also ignore their question.
- My sister, bro-in-law and 4-month old nephew came to town for the holidays.
We were all curious to see how Peanut would react to baby D. She gave him attention...if none of us looked at her. The moment someone looked at her or commented "Ahhh, that's such a nice hug Peanut!" she ignored baby D, claiming "He's scary." She had noted that he "Has an apple" (see: male infant genitalia) and, best 2-year-old-ism, told me: "My apple fell off my bum already." I think that about sums up all "Boys have a penis; girls have a vagina" talk.
...of course the best picture we got of the two of them smiling came from my mom's camera, the crappy, low resolution one dubbed "Fuzzy Memories."
We did see the jealousy bug appear when we put Baby D in my sister's old baby doll bed. All the attention, snapping camera and gushes of "You're so cute D!" were too much - Peanut had to get in next.
- Peanut obsessed with sheep at a live nativity. This is the second time she's been able to pet/hug/maul a real sheep and I'm seriously looking into buying our own mini flock. She loves sheep! Moments before the picture below was taken, she said "It's OK baby sheep, I'll help you find your dada." (A bigger ewe had just walked away.) Is that not the cutest thing?
- Peanut's "hake-up" - a $1 make-up brush set I put in her stocking.
- Sledding.
"I love sledding!" - Peanut
"Let's let Peanut go by herself, I bet this won't be traumatizing for her at all!" - Trent
"I hate sledding!" - Peanut
All is forgiven.
- Family time.
(Our fourth sibling - the little brother Ryan - is on a church mission. So I had to provoke the fact that he's gone missing his beloved traditions by dubbing the older siblings "The 3 Originals.")
- ...speaking of, we got to talk to Ryan on the phone.
I remember my mom telling me when I was little that, when I grew up, my best friends would be my siblings. I didn't believe her.
She was right.
Monday, February 14, 2011
My kid is funny
- When GJ is home from work, Peanut often wants alone time with her father and commands me to go away and into the kitchen with such anti-feminist statements as:
"Mama, go make dinner!"
"Mama, go play in your big kitchen!" (as opposed to her little toy kitchen)
- Her latest confusing statements that I have no idea how to react to:
(Near tears) "I NEED TO IMAGINE!"
(Getting into the car) "It's my turn to drive!"
- Octopus = Octerpus
Tortilla = Cookie-illa
Sesame Street = Mess-a-me Street
Humpty Dumpty = Dumpy Dumpy
M & M’s = Nem-e-nem
adventure = adbenture
Merry go Round = Round-a-Round
- Anytime she gets hurt, she tells us "Maybe candy will make me feel better."
- She has begun doing some make believe role plays with me...all revolving around the movie "Up." Peanut usually assigns me the character of Mr. Fredrickson - or "Misrickson" - and assigns herself to be Russell.
Peanut: Mama, say the story.
Me: Wow, Russell, what are you doing?
Peanut: I'm playing with Kevin the bird!
Me: What does Kevin eat?
Peanut: Food.
Me: Does he like chocolate?
Peanut: Oh, very good mama. Kevin does like chocolate.
...when my portrayal of "Misrickson" is too boring, I am then given the demanding role of "Kevin the bird" while Peanut gets the dual position of Russell and Mr. Fredrickson. While she reenacts lengthy scenes with herself between Russell and Mr. Fredrickson, I just squawk every now and then.
- Scene: Peanut has done...something bad. I don't remember. I get mad.
Me: (Frustrating sighs and grunts to make my anger known!)
Peanut: Mama, be nice to kids!
- When getting Peanut out of the bath...
Peanut: (hysterical) MY FINGERS!!
Me: It's OK honey, our hands get wrinkly when we've been in the water for a long time.
Peanut: I'M ALL BRINKLY!
Me: Peanut, they'll go back to normal soon.
Peanut: NO NORMAL! I WANT FINGERS!
- A true "You know you're potty training when" moment...
Scene: Peanut is playing with some Valentine's Day Winnie the Pooh stickers (she's never seen Winnie the Pooh before.)
Me: Peanut, that guy's name is Winnie the Pooh.
Peanut: What about Winnie the Pee Pee?
- Phrases she says that are directly copying me.
(When I raise my voice) "Calm down mama!"
(When I take too long leaving the house with her) "Come on hon, come on!" (if I'm still taking too long) "Come on hon, let me hold your hand."
(When I can't get a sticker off her sticker sheet) "We have to be patient because we are big girls."
(When I ask her to stop something she wants to keep doing) "You're driving me insane!"
...an embarrassing self reflection.
"Mama, go make dinner!"
"Mama, go play in your big kitchen!" (as opposed to her little toy kitchen)
- Her latest confusing statements that I have no idea how to react to:
(Near tears) "I NEED TO IMAGINE!"
(Getting into the car) "It's my turn to drive!"
- Octopus = Octerpus
Tortilla = Cookie-illa
Sesame Street = Mess-a-me Street
Humpty Dumpty = Dumpy Dumpy
M & M’s = Nem-e-nem
adventure = adbenture
Merry go Round = Round-a-Round
- Anytime she gets hurt, she tells us "Maybe candy will make me feel better."
- She has begun doing some make believe role plays with me...all revolving around the movie "Up." Peanut usually assigns me the character of Mr. Fredrickson - or "Misrickson" - and assigns herself to be Russell.
Peanut: Mama, say the story.
Me: Wow, Russell, what are you doing?
Peanut: I'm playing with Kevin the bird!
Me: What does Kevin eat?
Peanut: Food.
Me: Does he like chocolate?
Peanut: Oh, very good mama. Kevin does like chocolate.
...when my portrayal of "Misrickson" is too boring, I am then given the demanding role of "Kevin the bird" while Peanut gets the dual position of Russell and Mr. Fredrickson. While she reenacts lengthy scenes with herself between Russell and Mr. Fredrickson, I just squawk every now and then.
- Scene: Peanut has done...something bad. I don't remember. I get mad.
Me: (Frustrating sighs and grunts to make my anger known!)
Peanut: Mama, be nice to kids!
- When getting Peanut out of the bath...
Peanut: (hysterical) MY FINGERS!!
Me: It's OK honey, our hands get wrinkly when we've been in the water for a long time.
Peanut: I'M ALL BRINKLY!
Me: Peanut, they'll go back to normal soon.
Peanut: NO NORMAL! I WANT FINGERS!
- A true "You know you're potty training when" moment...
Scene: Peanut is playing with some Valentine's Day Winnie the Pooh stickers (she's never seen Winnie the Pooh before.)
Me: Peanut, that guy's name is Winnie the Pooh.
Peanut: What about Winnie the Pee Pee?
- Phrases she says that are directly copying me.
(When I raise my voice) "Calm down mama!"
(When I take too long leaving the house with her) "Come on hon, come on!" (if I'm still taking too long) "Come on hon, let me hold your hand."
(When I can't get a sticker off her sticker sheet) "We have to be patient because we are big girls."
(When I ask her to stop something she wants to keep doing) "You're driving me insane!"
...an embarrassing self reflection.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Don't look at the naked man
After the wonderful evening with Elmo during Sundance, Peanut and I walked back to the car to make the 20-minute drive from Park City to Salt Lake City. We had parked in front a condo complex, and a living room with floor-to-ceiling windows was overlooking the car.
As we got closer to the car, a man walked out of the hallway into the living room. A man wearing nothing but a beanie. On his head. So his penis was just flaccidly flopping out there in front of the huge windows.
Peanut and I were talking and, when we got closer, he went back down the hall. "He realized there's people out here," I thought, and I began putting Peanut in her carseat, thinking he'd stay hidden until we drove off. But in the reflection of my car window, there he appeared again. The naked man with his beanie and wagging wang watching me load my toddler into the car.
"He thinks we can't see him," I realized. It's dark inside his condo, and it's dark outside on the street. But the light on in his hallway highlighted EVERYTHING. The painting above the couch, the papers on the coffee table...his genitalia.
I quickly started the car for our escape. But this is Park City in January. The sides of the street are piled with snow. My car tires are stuck in the snow, and only a reverse-turnwheel-drive-turnwheel maneuver is going to free the car from the icy grip of snow pile-up. I'm in a "PLEASE don't let my daughter see the naked man in the window" panic and I'm just not taking my time to get out of the snow drift, I'm not being methodical, I'm just quickly jerking the wheel back and forth so the tires skid and make a loud noise.
So the naked man steps closer to his window. Yes, closer. He's now scratching his balls and staring at the loud-car-that-can't-get-out-of-the-snow. And I'm skidding some more, fishtailing in my parking spot, just begging Peanut doesn't look to her left.
Too late.
"Mama! That guy is taking a shower!"
...and I finally unjam the tires and head for the freeway, the beautiful image of my daughter hugging Elmo out of my mind and instead some naked man with no clue that windows are two-way.
As we got closer to the car, a man walked out of the hallway into the living room. A man wearing nothing but a beanie. On his head. So his penis was just flaccidly flopping out there in front of the huge windows.
Peanut and I were talking and, when we got closer, he went back down the hall. "He realized there's people out here," I thought, and I began putting Peanut in her carseat, thinking he'd stay hidden until we drove off. But in the reflection of my car window, there he appeared again. The naked man with his beanie and wagging wang watching me load my toddler into the car.
"He thinks we can't see him," I realized. It's dark inside his condo, and it's dark outside on the street. But the light on in his hallway highlighted EVERYTHING. The painting above the couch, the papers on the coffee table...his genitalia.
I quickly started the car for our escape. But this is Park City in January. The sides of the street are piled with snow. My car tires are stuck in the snow, and only a reverse-turnwheel-drive-turnwheel maneuver is going to free the car from the icy grip of snow pile-up. I'm in a "PLEASE don't let my daughter see the naked man in the window" panic and I'm just not taking my time to get out of the snow drift, I'm not being methodical, I'm just quickly jerking the wheel back and forth so the tires skid and make a loud noise.
So the naked man steps closer to his window. Yes, closer. He's now scratching his balls and staring at the loud-car-that-can't-get-out-of-the-snow. And I'm skidding some more, fishtailing in my parking spot, just begging Peanut doesn't look to her left.
Too late.
"Mama! That guy is taking a shower!"
...and I finally unjam the tires and head for the freeway, the beautiful image of my daughter hugging Elmo out of my mind and instead some naked man with no clue that windows are two-way.
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