Monday night, I took a flashlight to my throat and peered inside. My tonsils were, simply put, disgusting. There was blood, there was pus. I was off to the instacare Tuesday morning to learn that I thankfully don't have strep, but a viral infection that is not lightening up. So the doctor prescribed me...Lortab? I know there is no cure for cold/flu/sore throat, but she just chided me for all the cold medication I was taking ("You are taking Sudafed? No wonder your ears are congested! That stuff just thickens your cold up!" "Do not take MucinexDM if you live in Utah. It will just dry you out and it's too dry here already!") and told me Lortab would help with the pain. Yes, my throat is in pain. But Lortab pain? I've never taken it before, but got plenty of freaky warnings from friends and coworkers ("Lortab makes you puke" "It makes you loopy" "You'll get addicted and be a pain killer junkie"), so I opted to just not take it. Sure, major surgery, I'll take Lortab. But a sore throat? I'll just drink more fluids, thanks.
That wasn't the only FUN I encountered at the instacare!
While paying my copay:
Receptionist: Oh, look at your cute little baby!
Peanut: MAMAMAMA!
Receptionist: She said mama! That is so cute! Say it again, baby. Say "mama!"
Peanut: (Blank stare)
It's at this point that the receptionist puts the receipt in my direction, I reach in to grab it and she snaps it back, looks at me and goes "No, no, no," coupled with a finger wag.
Receptionist: This is not for you! This is for the baby.
Peanut: (Blank stare)
Receptionist: Here baby, you give this to your mom.
Peanut: (Blank stare)
Receptionist: (Now shaking paper) Here baby! Here baby!
Peanut: (Blank stare)
Dejected, the receptionist just puts the receipt on the counter for me and mumbles something. What I can confirm is it was not "Maybe if I treat this woman like a naughty child, her baby will grab this piece of paper from me."
And while sitting in the waiting room:
A couple visiting from Louisiana takes a seat across from me and Peanut. P, in quite the chipper mood, begins doing her backwards wave at them and attempting to say "Hi."
Louisiana woman: Oh, look, that is so adorable, she is saying "Hi" to us!
Peanut: (Continues the backward wave and babbling.)
Woman: Oh, well aren't you smart! Your momma is teaching you right! How old is she?
Me: 10 months.
Woman: Has she taken her first steps?
Me: No, not yet.
Woman: Just crawling?
Me: Well army crawling.
Woman: Oh. Any teeth?
Me: Not yet.
Woman: Hmmm.
(Long pause)
Woman: (Leans to her husband to indicate "whispering," but obviously says this loud enough for me to hear) I've never met a 10-month-old that couldn't walk and had no teeth.
Really? Am I supposed to feel bad that I was apparently smart enough to teach my baby "Hi," but not smart enough to teach her...teeth to come in?
Later, when Peanut threw her pacifier on the floor, this woman told me how lucky I was to have such "modern medical miracles" that she didn't have as a mom. I didn't have the gall to tell her the pacifier has been around since the 1800s.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Gems from the instacare
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25 comments:
1st to comment!!!
You have the funniest things happen to you. I love reading about them...so funny. Maybe pacifiers got washed away in Katrina so this Louisiana gal doesn't know what she's talking about.
I don't know if it's the funniest things happen to just me or I choose to write about them and make fun of the people involved, haha. It's a good way to cope with my annoyances.
Interesting encounters you have! Hope you start feeling better.
I think you left out the part where you shot the lady from Louisiana after her "I've-never-met-a-10-month-old-that..." comment.
You should have mentioned that you put a cap in her.
That IS funny. First off, Mucinex CAN work in Utah. My husband is proof.
Second, Lortab works totally differently on different people. It's nothing to fear for something like this.
Not everyone pukes or gets addicted. Puhleese. Although, yes, you'll probably have a bit of fuzzy thinking, especially if you've never taken it before, so I don't suggest DRIVING or taking a Calculus test, but I say take some if your throat is as bad as you say it is--a slightly fuzzy head would be SO worth the relief from the pain! Just try it. If it makes you sick, then you know not to take it again. But it's worth a try if it gives you relief from agonizing pain.
Feel better soon!
Lortab does nothing for me. I always opt for something stronger! It helps some though. It's really not that strong. I'd give it a shot. If not, at least take 800mg of motrin. That will help too!
So, how was the Lortab? I'm thinking about going to the Instacare because I think I have an infection. Maybe I will have to kidnap someone's baby so people pay attention to me.
Annette and Melissa: I think you've convinced me. I'm still feeling like crap today, so I may take it tonight.
Kristina: The thing is, people don't pay attention to you - it's the freaking baby. "Why are you at instacare today IS YOUR BABY OK?!?" Once they find out it's the adult, they don't pay any more attention.
Joe: SHHHHHHH!
My DD didn't walk or have teeth at 10 months and she is fine now at 2 years old. In fact she is very smart...I once read that babies will work on one or the other (physical vs. mental) and then they'll stop and work on the other. Am I making sense? Sorry I'm tired from holding up my end of the conversation with a 2 year old who wants to know who every single stranger is and what they are doing.
Amelia, you do always have some adventures! lol As for the Lortab, doctors seem to hand out pain pills pretty easily these days. I had a minor medical thing come up over the weekend and ended up with a prescription for Vicodin! I was like... no thanks. That stuff's more addictive than meth, and I'm doing just fine with my Advil, thankyouverymuch. Sheesh. And we wonder why addiction to painkillers is so prevalent?!
Anyways, feel better soon, m'dear. Sick is no fun. I've always liked to drink piping hot herbal tea to soothe a sore throat. Hope that helps.
I can't believe all the funny things that happen to you! Your recap of each event is always thoroughly entertaining too! I love everyone and their opinions on babies. My baby didn't get teeth until 10 months, didn't crawl (not even army style) until she was 1 year and 1 week old and then walked a month later. I see others with these little 6 month olds who want to crawl everywhere and am actually glad that mine was immobile for so long (it sure made church easier)! And, all bias aside, she's one of the smartest 20month olds I've ever seen! :D
The people telling you that lortab will lead to life of painkiller addiction are probably the same people that think you can cure depression by telling Satan to leave you alone.
Take the lortab. It's amazing stuff.
Ok, I hope you take the pain killers! I've never taken the meds, but you sound like you're in a good amount of pain. Sad day!
Good times in Urgent Care! You always have great stories. And I can't believe Peanut is semi TALKING! Wow, how time flies!
And just why haven't you taught her to grow teeth?
I had one kid who walked at 11 months, but the others were 14 and 15 months old before they decided to take their first steps.
I heart Lortab.
Other people are idiots. in general I feel this way and don't feel bad about it. Esp. when it comes to comments about kids. When women do it they look like they think they know it all and they make us feel self concious because we don't know how much they actually do know. When men do it, they look like complete idiots (esp. of the older variety) because we know that they don't know much of anything when it comes to babies. The thing about babies is that no one is a qualified expert on your baby... even you. If you had it figured out, then mothering would be easy.
Hey gal! No worries about the Lortab - I take it...well, let's just say "often" and I am not addicted. :)
And as for the jerks at InstaCare, I would just revert back to the old standby, "Oh yeah? And you're ugly". Works like a charm.
Alright. . . first of all this crazy lady from Louisianna is a LIAR! I found out that women forget the actual stages of when babies do things, unless they have gone through it in recent years. I think that their own children get younger and younger with each first step/walking story. I remember meeting someone who told me that her child was walking/running around at like 7 months. Come on people. . . really? Peanut is totally normal.
I also think that everyone wants to up the next person on how "hard" it was when they had kids. So. . . they delude theirselves into thinking that there were not simple things like pacifiers when they had babies.
So wow, it sounds like you had a great time! It's nice to see that the emergency care office hired such a simpleton to man the receptionist's desk...she wants to play with the baby while you are obviously miserable and ready to collapse...
I agree with Katy. I try to find reasons why they might be so stupid, victims of circumstance, Or maybe their mom's didn't teach them how to grow teeth, you know, things like that.
I hope you're throat is better. Honey and lemon always does the job for me. I'm not talking about honey and lemon mixed with hot water, I'm talking about straight up honey mixed with lemon juice, equal parts. It's painful to swallow but it helps in the end. You might be too far gone for it to work. Or you know, you could do Lortab.
I can't believe that you can't teach your daughter's teeth... I just LOVE the things that come out of a Southern Woman's mouth. They say whatever they want- I wish I could do that!
Also- random fact about Mucinex. There was a study on why women who have colds are more likely to get pregnant. It's because of Mucinex. It creates a much more "swimable" environment. So, if you have a toothless, walkless 10-month-old, I'd stick with Lortab... ;) Moral of the study: don't have sex right now...
Ugh. People are just SO rude!
How did you teach her teeth to come in? My big sister still has a baby tooth.
UPDATE!!! Or you may never be able to teach your daughter to grow teeth!!!!! Haha!
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