I am still amazed at the power of an e-mail forward. I'm not talking about the ones actually worth your reading; I'm talking about the stupid ones.
These usually end in some sort of threat ("FoRWaRd tHIs tO oNlY 5 pEOpLE & Ur crush wIlL HatE u :(") Or an empty promise ("Send this to 25 people and a voucher for a $25 Applebee's gift card will appear on your!!!")
It's so 1995.
How you know this is a stupid e-mail forward:
- The subject reads "Delete if we aren't friends" or the end commands "Forward this on to 10 people, including the person who sent it to you." Why would the person who already read it want it back?
- Anything rewritten. Bible verse, nursery rhyme, rap song, fables.
- Share a story or poem about Jesus and make you feel guilty for not passing it on by quoting some fake statistic, "Did you know 90% of people will pass on a joke, but only 8% will pass on a message about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?"
- SUPER HILARIOUS little quips making fun of women. Ex: "They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken." HAHAHAHA I'm laughing so hard.
- EQUALLY HILARIOUS little quips making fun of men. Ex: "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't."
- Stories wirh morals praising the senior citizens. "Don't mess with the old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!"
- Clip art is involved. Often images that are blinking or glittering.
- The "unbelievable" pictures or "true story" has been photoshopped or can be refuted by a simple Google search or snopes.com investigation.
- The font size is set at 48+, some cutesy font and a color other than black.
- A "HUGE VIRUS WARNING!!!" for a computer virus that is 5 years old.
- They sound like they've been written by a 65-year-old woman, who crocheted this on a pillow 5 years ago and now wants to grace the world with her hilarity. Ex: "Save the earth...it's the only planet with Chocolate!!!"
- A subject line of "Did this work?" with a promise of "Send this to 100 people and something really cool will pop up on your computer screen!"
- The forwarded petition. Calling for some television show to be banned, asking (insert politician here) to resign or a promise of "If we get 10,000 signatures by Friday, the Red Cross will send first-aid kits to (insert developing third world country here)!!!" this is a clearly legal and enforceable piece of material that should be taken with all seriousness.
Any signs I'm missing?
(Can you tell I've been put on some forward list I can't politely get off of?)
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
The e-mail forward
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
12 comments:
Insert Politician is a terrorist.
Story of my freaking life.
(You should try working with middle-aged ladies in the Bible Belt, I'm just sayin' ...)
Hahahaha! I laughed so hard reading this. And you know who is the main culprit in perpetuating them? MOMS. No, not you...like OUR moms. The ones who just discovered the Internet a year ago.
I can only imagine Bible belters - and yes, the older generation of moms are the worst! I am going to add one...a subject line of "Did this work?" with a promise of "Send this to 100 people and something really cool will pop up on your computer screen!"
Ooo...and a forward petition. Calling for some television show to be banned or X politician to resign, this is a clearly legal and enforceable piece of material that should be taken with all seriousness.
Fine, I will delurk myself (and hopefully you won't be creeped out that I read and like your blog).
I am also the victim of forwards, so a big "AMEN" to this post and the annoyingness of forwards.
My question is where do people get forwards: is there like a listserv somewhere to sign up to receive forwards so you can send them to other people?
And some of my favorite signs of a forward:
"Make sure you go all the way to the end for a great/touching/cute/excellent story!" and the excessive overuse of exclamation points in the subject line.
p.s. Because I can't tell the person to stop, I've pretty much created a filter in my gmail to automatically read and archive his emails. I think it's really improved our relationship.
I too am annoyed with the forwards, especially the virus forwards. I get so many of these, that I've started to ignore them (which could be a problem, if one of them actually ends up being legitimate!). And now, when people send them to me, I go to the scam-busting websites and send the link to the person, with the hope that they will check up on their future emails before sending!
What about the ones for the poor kid with cancer whose parents are poor, but will get $1 from Oprah for each time you forward it.
How about the "online Amber Alerts?" You know, where that person has been missing since 1963?
Ah, yes. The great and wonderful world of forwards. That is the worst button in any email service. I have been getting on to Nathan about this because it's the only emails we get from his grandparents.
First of all people, this is how spammers get your email address! Ever wonder why your email is chuck full of spams? It is because people forwards emails that get forwarded on to a bunch of other people with their friends, family, co-workers, nannies, hair stylists' email address visible to EVERYONE in the world.
Second, they are never true. Look it up on snopes.com.
How about the ones about what rapists look for in their victims. Or the ones about onions absorb bacteria. Or the ones about hypodermic needles in ball pits at McDees. Or the one where if you sleep with your cell phone, it will blow up and burn your face.
Please stop the madness! Thanks for addressing the issue. :)
Oh Amelia. You make me giggle.
My grandma and I have been having "lessons" on how to deal with spam. She has one friend who sends her, no joke, up to eleven a day! We started by having the messages move automatically to spam, but then she missed some old neighborhood news. Now we're working on the polite request to be off the list. My grand ma doesn't quite believe that it's ok to say "stop sending me forwards". I keep telling her that in the internet world, it's 100% ok.
And simplymodernmom brings up a great point - why don't people EVER check these things out? One of Eric's favorite things to do (waste time on) is looking up the "facts" from a forward and responding to the person with the real info.
Wow - this is a long comment. But, if you copy and paste it and send it to three friends you'll have a lucky day sometime in the next 365 of them. I guarantee it!
ha ha I totally agree, as soon as the email warns me that I don't "Love God" if I don't pass this on or that I will have bad luck for the next two years I immediatly delete it!
My annoyance with all forwards is the looooong list of emails before them -- you know, you can see every single person these were sent to for the past year.
And the angry politician emails -- get those about one a week from my sisters in laws. Who then send it again, to the same list, over and over!!
You know what I've started doing? Reply all with a snarky comment. I'm sure my SILs don't appreciate it, but it works!
Post a Comment