It's a pillow! It's a pet! It's a OH MY GOSH I HATE THIS STUPID TOY

Over the summer, Peanut began watching "Sesame Street." I'd record old episodes on the DVR, then she'd watch an episode a day, falling in love with (in order of her favorites) Elmo, Gordon, Oscar and Bert.

(The last three always make me laugh - after Elmo, her favorites are the stick-in-the-mud, depressed, angry characters. I hope this is not a reflection on her mother.)

Because these reruns were on the Sprout Channel and not PBS, every episode ended with a commercial - the same commercial.

A commercial crafted in hell.



If you need an example of effective marketing to children, just take a look at the Pillow Pet infomercial. I figured Peanut never paid attention to it, just waited for the "Sesame Street" credits to roll.

That was until she spotted a Pillow Pet at a mall kiosk.

"MAMA! A PILLOW PET!"

I had no idea she even knew what a Pillow Pet was. She grabbed the frog and gave it a hug - "Pillow Pet so soft and cuddly!" - and she demonstrated the only time my easy-going child has ever been mad when I didn't buy her a toy.

Over the next few weeks, she'd run up to me to share a random line about the Pillow Pet.

"Mama, kids love Pillow Pets."

"Put jammies inside Pillow Pet!"

"Pillow Pet go to grandma's house?"

I wondered where she came up with these phrases until I actually paid attention to the Pillow Pets commercial.

MY 2-YEAR-OLD WAS QUOTING LINES FROM THE COMMERCIAL.

Things got sadly desperate after that. We got a package in the mail that came with a long tube of those packaging pillows - Peanut was thrilled.

"Mama, a snake Pillow Pet!"

I am not kidding.



This is how kids roll in the ghetto.



She carried this around for days, giving it hugs and taking it to bed. Ever the optimist, when a third of it broke off, she was even more excited.

"A big Pillow Pet and a baby Pillow Pet!"

She began talking about her cousin's Pillow Pets - "Lucy monkey Pillow Pet and Libby dolphin Pillow Pet!" When Pillow Pets began popping up in stores - Target, Walgreens - I'd let her play with them. I tried to figure out which one was her favorite - there's dozens, afterall! - but she played with a new one each time.

I put a Pillow Pet on the Christmas list and learned Pillow Pets are a bigger obsession than I could have imagined. Akin to the 1996 Tickle-Me-Elmo craze, Pillow Pets are apparently the latest must-have kid's gift. There's numerous fake, copycat Pillow Pet companies selling knock-offs. And the more unique varieties you can't find in your run-of-the-mill big box store - the horse, moose and tiger, for example - sell out quickly and go for triple their price on eBay.

This is now waiting for it's Christmas Day debut.



And I can't wait for Christmas.