My kid is funny

- When GJ is home from work, Peanut often wants alone time with her father and commands me to go away and into the kitchen with such anti-feminist statements as:
"Mama, go make dinner!"
"Mama, go play in your big kitchen!" (as opposed to her little toy kitchen)

- Her latest confusing statements that I have no idea how to react to:
(Near tears) "I NEED TO IMAGINE!"
(Getting into the car) "It's my turn to drive!"

- Octopus = Octerpus
Tortilla = Cookie-illa
Sesame Street = Mess-a-me Street
Humpty Dumpty = Dumpy Dumpy
M & M’s = Nem-e-nem
adventure = adbenture
Merry go Round = Round-a-Round

- Anytime she gets hurt, she tells us "Maybe candy will make me feel better."

- She has begun doing some make believe role plays with me...all revolving around the movie "Up." Peanut usually assigns me the character of Mr. Fredrickson - or "Misrickson" - and assigns herself to be Russell.
Peanut: Mama, say the story.
Me: Wow, Russell, what are you doing?
Peanut: I'm playing with Kevin the bird!
Me: What does Kevin eat?
Peanut: Food.
Me: Does he like chocolate?
Peanut: Oh, very good mama. Kevin does like chocolate.
...when my portrayal of "Misrickson" is too boring, I am then given the demanding role of "Kevin the bird" while Peanut gets the dual position of Russell and Mr. Fredrickson. While she reenacts lengthy scenes with herself between Russell and Mr. Fredrickson, I just squawk every now and then.

- Scene: Peanut has done...something bad. I don't remember. I get mad.
Me: (Frustrating sighs and grunts to make my anger known!)
Peanut: Mama, be nice to kids!

- When getting Peanut out of the bath...
Peanut: (hysterical) MY FINGERS!!
Me: It's OK honey, our hands get wrinkly when we've been in the water for a long time.
Peanut: I'M ALL BRINKLY!
Me: Peanut, they'll go back to normal soon.
Peanut: NO NORMAL! I WANT FINGERS!

- A true "You know you're potty training when" moment...
Scene: Peanut is playing with some Valentine's Day Winnie the Pooh stickers (she's never seen Winnie the Pooh before.)
Me: Peanut, that guy's name is Winnie the Pooh.
Peanut: What about Winnie the Pee Pee?

- Phrases she says that are directly copying me.
(When I raise my voice) "Calm down mama!"
(When I take too long leaving the house with her) "Come on hon, come on!" (if I'm still taking too long) "Come on hon, let me hold your hand."
(When I can't get a sticker off her sticker sheet) "We have to be patient because we are big girls."
(When I ask her to stop something she wants to keep doing) "You're driving me insane!"
...an embarrassing self reflection.